His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
