I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
