is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
