Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
