i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
