how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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