I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
