so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize