I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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