he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
