lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
