Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm too high and old for this...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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