Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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