Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
