yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
