Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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