Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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