the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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