Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
