whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
