I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
