it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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