just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
