he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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