I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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