I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
