Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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