thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
