Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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