I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
