I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dicks are not precious.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
