My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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