Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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