During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
