Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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