ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
