I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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