alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
