I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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