ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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