Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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