A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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