I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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