Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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