I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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