So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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