the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
