my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
