garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Do vagina's smell?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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