i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
