They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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